I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
