Can i not drive my cunt home
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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