i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
