girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
