After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
