New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
