I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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