your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
