I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
