Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Randomize
