Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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