I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
