He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Don't make out with my wife yet
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
