Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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