Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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