Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize