the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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