Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
