dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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