god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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