Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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