"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize
