is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize