we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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