Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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