I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
