is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
