Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
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