I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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