Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of course. lets lasso hookers.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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