She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
