and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
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