definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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