i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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