What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
