Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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