Can i not drive my cunt home
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
