and i looked up. we had an audience...
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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