walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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