We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
