my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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