There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
