I need help removing her.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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