You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
