I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
