unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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