my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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