I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
