I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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