They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
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