I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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