How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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