and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
