You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.