Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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